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Do I have a terrible propensity to hurt my best friend or something?
Why is it that I just cannot get anything right?
When I am sensitive, people say I think too much and become too reserved.
When I want to relax a little and be a carefree person, people say I am too insensitive to their feelings.
I always like to talk about the importance of being an "open-minded" person and looking at issues from other people's perspective. Ironically, I have seemed to be the most snobbish one.
Maybe I am just selfish in nature, just that I don't like to admit it.
I feel so ashamed of myself.
I'm so powerless to manage this life, and feel like giving up on it...
Don't be too alarmed upon reading this. I won't have the guts to swallow 100 sleeping pills or jump down the MRT train tracks.
Please don't take this friendship away from me...
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Friday, November 06, 2009
Breeze
I was reviewing my essay just now, and the night breeze suddenly reminded me of Southampton.
Thank goodness for the good weathers these days!
I couldn't help browsing through the photos I took in UK. Though it's already been a year and two months, I can still vividly remember the places I've visited: Southampton, London, Salisbury, Bath, Cambridge and Winchester. Away from the scorching sun and unbearable heat of Singapore, I regarded the pleasant weather in UK one of the most enjoyable aspects of the trip.
Global warming almost drove me crazy this year.
I wonder what happened to the vote last year regarding the installation of the air-con in our boarding house. I cannot even remember what I voted, whether for or against the scheme. If I really voted no, then the only thing I want to do now is to bang my head on the wall again and again. There's never been a time when I need air-con so badly. During the hottest days in August, I literally felt like a roasted pig in an oven (or on a pan, when I was lying down on my bed at night).
I don't think the hostel at NUS will be much cooler than RIB. Whether I am willing to spend so much money to stay in an air-conditioned room is another question. If I cannot get a scholarship next year, every cent spent will matter.
So, at the moment, I'm filled with gratitude for the good weather.
Have a night of pleasant dreams, folks (:
Thank goodness for the good weathers these days!
I couldn't help browsing through the photos I took in UK. Though it's already been a year and two months, I can still vividly remember the places I've visited: Southampton, London, Salisbury, Bath, Cambridge and Winchester. Away from the scorching sun and unbearable heat of Singapore, I regarded the pleasant weather in UK one of the most enjoyable aspects of the trip.
Global warming almost drove me crazy this year.
I wonder what happened to the vote last year regarding the installation of the air-con in our boarding house. I cannot even remember what I voted, whether for or against the scheme. If I really voted no, then the only thing I want to do now is to bang my head on the wall again and again. There's never been a time when I need air-con so badly. During the hottest days in August, I literally felt like a roasted pig in an oven (or on a pan, when I was lying down on my bed at night).
I don't think the hostel at NUS will be much cooler than RIB. Whether I am willing to spend so much money to stay in an air-conditioned room is another question. If I cannot get a scholarship next year, every cent spent will matter.
So, at the moment, I'm filled with gratitude for the good weather.
Have a night of pleasant dreams, folks (:
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
The Curious Incident of the Boy Who Cannot Write
No. I've not tried hard enough.
What is so interesting about me that sets me apart from everyone else? Am I really a robot?
Maybe I've accustomed to be a robot for so long: completing my every task with flying colours, never complaining or rebelling against orders.
But when the task given is "show me what/who you are", I'm virtually dumbfounded. Overcome with a terrible sense of reluctance, I cannot even find a starting point to begin with.
Why the hell do I need to examine myself? Isn't that the job of someone else??
I don't understand what has kept me from looking deeper into myself. I feel neither love nor hatred towards myself; I'm simply indifferent. Perhaps that's what terrifies me most. "I don't care!": that is my usual response to something that doesn't concern me. Will I be damned if that is the kind of response I give to myself? I bet I will!
Throughout the years, I have strongly believed that a man's value depends not so much on who he is but what he does and how much he contributes to the society. However, if I ignore the fundamental question of "who I am", then what is the use of "what I do"? The entire building that I've painstakingly built up would just crumble with a snap of fingers.
My gosh I really hate this!
I cannot write an essay that will impress others if I am not even moved. Nevertheless, I still don't get the answer to why I should be doing this. After two years of writing essays on "pros and cons of democracy" or "benefits of FTA to Singapore" or "ethical implications of the Human Genome Project", I'm suddenly told to write an essay on myself. Huh? Any textbook on that?
I hate inconsistencies. Maybe my brain is far less complicated than most other people. This reminds me of the autistic child in The Curious Incident of the Dog at the Night-time, who cannot process too much information at any one time. I share a similar yearning for simplicity.
I guess writing is just not my cup of tea.
It's time for me to accept who I am and live with it. Writing about me may not be so difficult after all, if I am willing to dig deeper into my past and my psyche.
I just need to try harder.
What is so interesting about me that sets me apart from everyone else? Am I really a robot?
Maybe I've accustomed to be a robot for so long: completing my every task with flying colours, never complaining or rebelling against orders.
But when the task given is "show me what/who you are", I'm virtually dumbfounded. Overcome with a terrible sense of reluctance, I cannot even find a starting point to begin with.
Why the hell do I need to examine myself? Isn't that the job of someone else??
I don't understand what has kept me from looking deeper into myself. I feel neither love nor hatred towards myself; I'm simply indifferent. Perhaps that's what terrifies me most. "I don't care!": that is my usual response to something that doesn't concern me. Will I be damned if that is the kind of response I give to myself? I bet I will!
Throughout the years, I have strongly believed that a man's value depends not so much on who he is but what he does and how much he contributes to the society. However, if I ignore the fundamental question of "who I am", then what is the use of "what I do"? The entire building that I've painstakingly built up would just crumble with a snap of fingers.
My gosh I really hate this!
I cannot write an essay that will impress others if I am not even moved. Nevertheless, I still don't get the answer to why I should be doing this. After two years of writing essays on "pros and cons of democracy" or "benefits of FTA to Singapore" or "ethical implications of the Human Genome Project", I'm suddenly told to write an essay on myself. Huh? Any textbook on that?
I hate inconsistencies. Maybe my brain is far less complicated than most other people. This reminds me of the autistic child in The Curious Incident of the Dog at the Night-time, who cannot process too much information at any one time. I share a similar yearning for simplicity.
I guess writing is just not my cup of tea.
It's time for me to accept who I am and live with it. Writing about me may not be so difficult after all, if I am willing to dig deeper into my past and my psyche.
I just need to try harder.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Nonsense
Maybe it's time to stop all this nonsense going on in my head.
I always thought that what I needed was a person, a confidant(e) whom I could really talk to, share all my pains and secrets with and who would know me best. However, I always found myself speechless when I thought I was ready to share, and since have become more and more reclusive.
I know this cannot go on forever.
Either I can choose to approach people whom I deem as trustworthy and willing to endure all my seemingly senseless whining, or I can loosen my grasp and let the sleeping dogs die.
On this matter, I don't know which way will yield result, as both seem to be failing my expectations.
I should not suffer from other people's actions and they should bear whatever consequences their actions may lead to.
What I'm doing now will just make myself sink into deeper self-depreciation and -destruction. I just need some help to regain my confidence in myself, to make me still feel good about myself, to make me drop the belief that I'm inferior to them and to anyone that throw my good will into the trashbin.
Yes, please give me some help if you can.
I always thought that what I needed was a person, a confidant(e) whom I could really talk to, share all my pains and secrets with and who would know me best. However, I always found myself speechless when I thought I was ready to share, and since have become more and more reclusive.
I know this cannot go on forever.
Either I can choose to approach people whom I deem as trustworthy and willing to endure all my seemingly senseless whining, or I can loosen my grasp and let the sleeping dogs die.
On this matter, I don't know which way will yield result, as both seem to be failing my expectations.
I should not suffer from other people's actions and they should bear whatever consequences their actions may lead to.
What I'm doing now will just make myself sink into deeper self-depreciation and -destruction. I just need some help to regain my confidence in myself, to make me still feel good about myself, to make me drop the belief that I'm inferior to them and to anyone that throw my good will into the trashbin.
Yes, please give me some help if you can.
Friday, May 08, 2009
Blending
After a week's struggle with flu, I finally begin to see signs of recover. I still remember my panic when I saw the reading on my thermometer at this time last week. Because of the flu, I didn't have any mood to study in the last few days. Luckily there are not many important tests coming up in the next few weeks. I can afford to slack a little now and catch up during the holidays.
Today I was discussing with some of my classmates about future and all that jazz. I asked them a question that I have been pondering over for some time: Do they see me more as a foreign student or as an RJ student? Two of them did not understand my question. One of them immediately said, "Of course more as an RJ student lah!". I feel the same way, too. Throughout these two years, I have been trying to play down the fact that I'm a foreigner and behave just like anybody else. It's because I'm the only Chinese scholar in the class and I don't want to remind everybody of this fact whenever I can. I've tried to forget every small difference between me and the locals and I believed that was the right way to go considering the overwhelming population of locals in the class.
Maybe my strategy was overly successful, so successful that I don't even feel my identity as a "paid-to-study" student in the class. After all, when you completely feel a part of a group, you don't feel special any more. When my scholar friend told me how the scholars in his class formed a clique and felt united and all that, I would feel indifferent at the start of last year, but now I feel a sense of longing to that kind of life. On the surface, I can blend very well into the class with the people around me, but deep down inside, I'm only reminded of the inherent differences (both ideological and behavioral) between the locals in the class and myself. Singaporean vs non-Singaporean, ex-RI(RGS) vs ex-CH, girl vs boy: with all these conflicts of ideas, the latter two being the more dominant ones, I can hardly find any similarity in the class. Yes, I feel fortunate to have a few friends around me each day who can make me feel less lonely in the class; but looking beyond them, I cannot help but ponder over the question that if I were to live my J1 life again, what should I do to really assimilate myself into the group? Would the situation have been improved if there was one more scholar in the class? I have been told by friends and family that there was nothing much I could do given the demographics (more precisely, gender makeup) of the class. Whether I chose to behave like a Chinese or Singaporean, the results would not be much different. I have tried to ignore that advice and carried on, but I have been gradually forced to come to the same sad conclusion as them.
I still feel that the difference between nationality is not really a big issue for me in the class, as my experience in CH has showed me that you can tear down any barrier between different nationals if you are good and friendly enough. But how to manage the great gender divide is still a lesson I need to learn. It will take time and effort, definitely, but I'm willing to do trial and error. Unfortunately, my patience is also running out.
Finally I'll have the opportunity to go to Kinokuniya and HMV this weekend! I cannot wait for my weekend trip. My SAT is just a month away and I'd better start preparing for it from now. LA is over, but statistics is giving me a headache. GP exam is three weeks away, and I have hardly practised any comprehension papers since term 2 started. A lot of stuff to do recently, and I'm glad that I have recovered my energy and momentum. All geared up for the second half of JC2 life!
Today I was discussing with some of my classmates about future and all that jazz. I asked them a question that I have been pondering over for some time: Do they see me more as a foreign student or as an RJ student? Two of them did not understand my question. One of them immediately said, "Of course more as an RJ student lah!". I feel the same way, too. Throughout these two years, I have been trying to play down the fact that I'm a foreigner and behave just like anybody else. It's because I'm the only Chinese scholar in the class and I don't want to remind everybody of this fact whenever I can. I've tried to forget every small difference between me and the locals and I believed that was the right way to go considering the overwhelming population of locals in the class.
Maybe my strategy was overly successful, so successful that I don't even feel my identity as a "paid-to-study" student in the class. After all, when you completely feel a part of a group, you don't feel special any more. When my scholar friend told me how the scholars in his class formed a clique and felt united and all that, I would feel indifferent at the start of last year, but now I feel a sense of longing to that kind of life. On the surface, I can blend very well into the class with the people around me, but deep down inside, I'm only reminded of the inherent differences (both ideological and behavioral) between the locals in the class and myself. Singaporean vs non-Singaporean, ex-RI(RGS) vs ex-CH, girl vs boy: with all these conflicts of ideas, the latter two being the more dominant ones, I can hardly find any similarity in the class. Yes, I feel fortunate to have a few friends around me each day who can make me feel less lonely in the class; but looking beyond them, I cannot help but ponder over the question that if I were to live my J1 life again, what should I do to really assimilate myself into the group? Would the situation have been improved if there was one more scholar in the class? I have been told by friends and family that there was nothing much I could do given the demographics (more precisely, gender makeup) of the class. Whether I chose to behave like a Chinese or Singaporean, the results would not be much different. I have tried to ignore that advice and carried on, but I have been gradually forced to come to the same sad conclusion as them.
I still feel that the difference between nationality is not really a big issue for me in the class, as my experience in CH has showed me that you can tear down any barrier between different nationals if you are good and friendly enough. But how to manage the great gender divide is still a lesson I need to learn. It will take time and effort, definitely, but I'm willing to do trial and error. Unfortunately, my patience is also running out.
Finally I'll have the opportunity to go to Kinokuniya and HMV this weekend! I cannot wait for my weekend trip. My SAT is just a month away and I'd better start preparing for it from now. LA is over, but statistics is giving me a headache. GP exam is three weeks away, and I have hardly practised any comprehension papers since term 2 started. A lot of stuff to do recently, and I'm glad that I have recovered my energy and momentum. All geared up for the second half of JC2 life!
Saturday, May 02, 2009
The Lost Angels
Just finished my Linear Algebra exam today. Hooray! Weeks of worry and sickness have finally come to an end.
Honestly speaking, I've never had any interest in maths. To me, maths is no more than a basic tool for learning other subjects and I can get no satisfaction from drilling maths questions. I never thought myself as a smart person or having a high IQ, and my thoughts are often tangled upon seeing numbers. However, I still decided to take LA last year as I considered it to be a "muggable" subject, despite the fact that I was not very confident in it. I was proven wrong this year. Maybe I aimed too high at first and adopted the wrong study technique: I forgot it was H3 maths, not H2 maths. There was not a single question of your typical H2 type. After I screwed up my term test, I started to panic and doubt my ability in maths. I didn't even dare to practise the questions and I just wanted to go "wt*" (excuse my language, please) when I saw the matrices and theorems. I finally gained some momentum after practising myriad of questions and lowered my expectations. I began to see the patterns and shortcuts. I might have done more papers if not for the unexpected onset of flu. Nontheless, I've tried my best and finally got it over and done with.
Although LA was a tough battle for me over the last few months, I have no regret over it. I know I will probably obtain a "merit" or even a "pass", but that was not the point. If it was a competition, then I already lost it at the start; but it was not a competition, and I'm glad that I've pushed my potentials. At least I have experienced maths at university level, and that experience is invaluable to me.
I finally realised how terrible an influenza virus can be. I had my worst fever in 20 years yesterday afternoon, when my body temperature shot straight up to 39.4 degree C. I felt the room was spinning around me. With two layers of blankets covering me and a scorching sun outside, I still felt my legs were trembling. I wonder if the pigs in Mexico are feeling the same...
The hellish Term 2 is finally coming to an end. There's just one more month to go. More tests and events are coming up, with a competition in the midst. I think life at this pace can seriously drives a person eccentric. The school cannot treat all of us like supermen or superwomen, and not everyone is born to be capable of multitasking. JC2 life is simply "damn tough".
Honestly speaking, I've never had any interest in maths. To me, maths is no more than a basic tool for learning other subjects and I can get no satisfaction from drilling maths questions. I never thought myself as a smart person or having a high IQ, and my thoughts are often tangled upon seeing numbers. However, I still decided to take LA last year as I considered it to be a "muggable" subject, despite the fact that I was not very confident in it. I was proven wrong this year. Maybe I aimed too high at first and adopted the wrong study technique: I forgot it was H3 maths, not H2 maths. There was not a single question of your typical H2 type. After I screwed up my term test, I started to panic and doubt my ability in maths. I didn't even dare to practise the questions and I just wanted to go "wt*" (excuse my language, please) when I saw the matrices and theorems. I finally gained some momentum after practising myriad of questions and lowered my expectations. I began to see the patterns and shortcuts. I might have done more papers if not for the unexpected onset of flu. Nontheless, I've tried my best and finally got it over and done with.
Although LA was a tough battle for me over the last few months, I have no regret over it. I know I will probably obtain a "merit" or even a "pass", but that was not the point. If it was a competition, then I already lost it at the start; but it was not a competition, and I'm glad that I've pushed my potentials. At least I have experienced maths at university level, and that experience is invaluable to me.
I finally realised how terrible an influenza virus can be. I had my worst fever in 20 years yesterday afternoon, when my body temperature shot straight up to 39.4 degree C. I felt the room was spinning around me. With two layers of blankets covering me and a scorching sun outside, I still felt my legs were trembling. I wonder if the pigs in Mexico are feeling the same...
The hellish Term 2 is finally coming to an end. There's just one more month to go. More tests and events are coming up, with a competition in the midst. I think life at this pace can seriously drives a person eccentric. The school cannot treat all of us like supermen or superwomen, and not everyone is born to be capable of multitasking. JC2 life is simply "damn tough".
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Ivory
I've found that I have become a person that almost stays on campus 24/7 since the start of this year. At least I occasionally went to Esplanade during the weekends last year to study and walk around. Maybe I've become a bit too lazy this year and quite satisfied with the study room environment. I still love the cozy atmosphere of library@esplanade, but I have not been there even once this year. Sigh, hope I'll have more time to visit the places I like during June holidays, as I've decided to stay in Singapore this year to save some money and reduce the fatigue due to frequent travelling.
One thing about living on campus that makes me a little uncomfortable is that I feel I've lost touch with the outside world. The more I make myself busy with books, assignments and computer, the more I feel they are what I'm only capable of dealing with in my daily life. Life in school can be fun and lively, but a life with nothing more than school can be depressing. Even a weekend trip to Junction 8 can make me feel refreshed and regain my sense of presence.
I love GP lesson because that's when I feel the classroom is filled with imagination and free flow of interesting ideas. There's no such thing as a right or wrong answer, and before the bell goes, everyone can become a saviour to the earth.
I still like the nights in Singapore, although the weather can be quite hot these days. Wherever I am, be it at Marina Square, Orchard Road, Singapore River or on a moving 410 bus, I feel secured and comfortable in my own thoughts. It's quite a pity for me that I cannot travel by bus as often as I did in secondary school; bus was always one of my favourite places to think and read.
I sort of acknowledge the fact that they are together; hopefully that can make me feel better. Denial has not been working for me since last year. The feeling that they are always somewhere around keeps torturing me. To engross myself in study to forget about it all has so far worked quite well. Sometimes you don't feel the pain when you no longer care.
My computer is becoming more and more screwed up each day. Even watching Susan Boyle's performance on YouTube has become too much to ask from my holy computer. Maybe a "Made in Japan" tag for an electronic product is no longer a guarantee for best quality.
As a new member of the wave of the British Invasion, Adele's voice is commendable. I enjoyed her song "Chasing Pavement" a lot. Unfortunately I've only found her CD in HMV so far. Other CD shops seem not interested in selling her Grammy-winning album. With the closedown of Sembawang in Junction 8, Laser Flair has won the battle and become the monopoly in the CD market in Junction 8.
I'm afraid I'll write entries sporadically for some time, at least for the rest of this year. JC2 life has made me a bit numb towards external stimuli, so there's really not much for me to write about. Looking back at my blog entries in Sec4, I feel I've not changed much since then. A little bit more matured, maybe, as I won't scold people with fury in my blog as I've done before. Apart from that, my blog still seems quite bleak, filled with my unhappiness and "emo" thoughts...
One thing about living on campus that makes me a little uncomfortable is that I feel I've lost touch with the outside world. The more I make myself busy with books, assignments and computer, the more I feel they are what I'm only capable of dealing with in my daily life. Life in school can be fun and lively, but a life with nothing more than school can be depressing. Even a weekend trip to Junction 8 can make me feel refreshed and regain my sense of presence.
I love GP lesson because that's when I feel the classroom is filled with imagination and free flow of interesting ideas. There's no such thing as a right or wrong answer, and before the bell goes, everyone can become a saviour to the earth.
I still like the nights in Singapore, although the weather can be quite hot these days. Wherever I am, be it at Marina Square, Orchard Road, Singapore River or on a moving 410 bus, I feel secured and comfortable in my own thoughts. It's quite a pity for me that I cannot travel by bus as often as I did in secondary school; bus was always one of my favourite places to think and read.
I sort of acknowledge the fact that they are together; hopefully that can make me feel better. Denial has not been working for me since last year. The feeling that they are always somewhere around keeps torturing me. To engross myself in study to forget about it all has so far worked quite well. Sometimes you don't feel the pain when you no longer care.
My computer is becoming more and more screwed up each day. Even watching Susan Boyle's performance on YouTube has become too much to ask from my holy computer. Maybe a "Made in Japan" tag for an electronic product is no longer a guarantee for best quality.
As a new member of the wave of the British Invasion, Adele's voice is commendable. I enjoyed her song "Chasing Pavement" a lot. Unfortunately I've only found her CD in HMV so far. Other CD shops seem not interested in selling her Grammy-winning album. With the closedown of Sembawang in Junction 8, Laser Flair has won the battle and become the monopoly in the CD market in Junction 8.
I'm afraid I'll write entries sporadically for some time, at least for the rest of this year. JC2 life has made me a bit numb towards external stimuli, so there's really not much for me to write about. Looking back at my blog entries in Sec4, I feel I've not changed much since then. A little bit more matured, maybe, as I won't scold people with fury in my blog as I've done before. Apart from that, my blog still seems quite bleak, filled with my unhappiness and "emo" thoughts...
Monday, January 26, 2009
1+1=1
I just noticed that some website dared to post an advertisement on my tagboard. What-ever!
I suppose this blog is more or less dysfunctional, as I can only promise one post per month when I'm supposed to update more often than that. I think I should just have to produce longer entries to compensate for that.
Yet another CNY. If last year I still had a little sense of festivity during the CNY period, this year I'm quite certain that CNY has just been no more than a school holiday for me. I did not even have the interest or excitement to step out of RIB and go to my favourite shopping areas. Maybe Singapore is just not the right place for me to celebrate this supposedly important festival. Anyway, I will hardly call it a CNY without at least a family reunion (and dumplings, of course).
Life has been a bit disturbing for the last few weeks. I just had to pretend not to see some of the things going on in school and act as if I was a complete outsider. Otherwise, I might have gone nuts already. My favourite mugging spot--SFL (and specifically, the magazine room)--has been under construction for some time. Although it was very heartening to see all those new tables, chairs and book shelves, I truly wished they would speed up and end the renovation soon so I can commence my proper work. Anyway, I'm really grateful for all the work the school has done to improve our study environment.
I was torn between SAT and my school work last week. I did not understand why I was so super-motivated to do my homework when I was supposed to prepare for my SAT. Unfortunately, my motivation died away as soon as the SAT was over. Since then I had been slacking all the way until now. I think I still treated SAT as a lower priority in my unconcious mind; that was why I was not able to force myself to compromise my school work just for the sake of SAT. I have also been thinking about setting my priorities straight (it was a painful experience, believe me), and I came to the conclusion that I have been confused since I took part in the olympiad last year. My confusion has made me experience much disillusionment this year and misled me into thinking that I could make a difference. I forgot about my promise that SAT will be just a "try" thing for me and I should not make a big fuss over it. I am ashamed that I could, for a second, think that I was among the "crème de la crème" of our batch, as the organiser of SBO has put it.
Maybe it's time for me to change my mentality. Things have changed; I am no longer the "striving for the top" kind of person, and the situation doesn't allow me to do so, either. I don't know what I want in my life, actually; but devoting all my resources to a cause that I don't really believe in is certainly not one of my options. To stay focus is not an easy job; one's opinion and point of view can be easily influenced by people around him. However, one thing I don't like about my school is that you either fight to the top position to get recognition, or remain unknown and get stepped on by everybody. There is no middle ground for you to take. Although that is the case, I still hope that I can take the middle ground: to stay low and at the same time, have the freedom to pursue what I believe is suitable for me. At the end of the day, not every soldier wants to become a general; Napoleon's ideas may not always be right.
Relationship wise, I think I'm still a complete idiot sometimes. I had never associate the word "antisocial" with myself until one of my close friends told me last year that among the people he knew, I might be the only person more antisocial than him. Maybe I should spend more time getting to know myself than wondering what other people expect of me.
In case you are wondering, the title refers to the merger of the two R schools. The impact is unknown yet. Maybe one of the benefits is that going to the secondary school canteen during school hours has become legitimate. Anyway, I don't go there that often to notice that. I don't really have an emotional attachment with white shorts.
I suppose this blog is more or less dysfunctional, as I can only promise one post per month when I'm supposed to update more often than that. I think I should just have to produce longer entries to compensate for that.
Yet another CNY. If last year I still had a little sense of festivity during the CNY period, this year I'm quite certain that CNY has just been no more than a school holiday for me. I did not even have the interest or excitement to step out of RIB and go to my favourite shopping areas. Maybe Singapore is just not the right place for me to celebrate this supposedly important festival. Anyway, I will hardly call it a CNY without at least a family reunion (and dumplings, of course).
Life has been a bit disturbing for the last few weeks. I just had to pretend not to see some of the things going on in school and act as if I was a complete outsider. Otherwise, I might have gone nuts already. My favourite mugging spot--SFL (and specifically, the magazine room)--has been under construction for some time. Although it was very heartening to see all those new tables, chairs and book shelves, I truly wished they would speed up and end the renovation soon so I can commence my proper work. Anyway, I'm really grateful for all the work the school has done to improve our study environment.
I was torn between SAT and my school work last week. I did not understand why I was so super-motivated to do my homework when I was supposed to prepare for my SAT. Unfortunately, my motivation died away as soon as the SAT was over. Since then I had been slacking all the way until now. I think I still treated SAT as a lower priority in my unconcious mind; that was why I was not able to force myself to compromise my school work just for the sake of SAT. I have also been thinking about setting my priorities straight (it was a painful experience, believe me), and I came to the conclusion that I have been confused since I took part in the olympiad last year. My confusion has made me experience much disillusionment this year and misled me into thinking that I could make a difference. I forgot about my promise that SAT will be just a "try" thing for me and I should not make a big fuss over it. I am ashamed that I could, for a second, think that I was among the "crème de la crème" of our batch, as the organiser of SBO has put it.
Maybe it's time for me to change my mentality. Things have changed; I am no longer the "striving for the top" kind of person, and the situation doesn't allow me to do so, either. I don't know what I want in my life, actually; but devoting all my resources to a cause that I don't really believe in is certainly not one of my options. To stay focus is not an easy job; one's opinion and point of view can be easily influenced by people around him. However, one thing I don't like about my school is that you either fight to the top position to get recognition, or remain unknown and get stepped on by everybody. There is no middle ground for you to take. Although that is the case, I still hope that I can take the middle ground: to stay low and at the same time, have the freedom to pursue what I believe is suitable for me. At the end of the day, not every soldier wants to become a general; Napoleon's ideas may not always be right.
Relationship wise, I think I'm still a complete idiot sometimes. I had never associate the word "antisocial" with myself until one of my close friends told me last year that among the people he knew, I might be the only person more antisocial than him. Maybe I should spend more time getting to know myself than wondering what other people expect of me.
In case you are wondering, the title refers to the merger of the two R schools. The impact is unknown yet. Maybe one of the benefits is that going to the secondary school canteen during school hours has become legitimate. Anyway, I don't go there that often to notice that. I don't really have an emotional attachment with white shorts.
Monday, December 01, 2008
Post J1 Life
The start of holiday was almost imperceptible, for the only change for me was to discard all PW notes and jump straight into a thick pile of vocabulary exercises. The usual mugging place--SFL--remained unchanged. Although I swore that I would devote my holiday to catch up my weaker subjects after the release of Promo results, I broke my word anyway, largely due to preparations for various tests like olympiad and SAT. After a brief repose, I began to work on my holiday plans.
The year of J1 was more like a talk show than a drama to me, for nothing quite unexpected happened during the year; instead, I feel the year was more about meeting new people, encountering new problems and seeking new ways of life. Without having had great expectations, I must say that I had quite a pleasant year. Pleasant indeed, but it does not mean I have no regrets. Had my self-discovery come a little earlier, I would have figured out a more congenial way of dealing with several circumstances, and not let my spur of the moment or wrong judgement deceive myself. There is a fresh year ahead, but I will not have the energy or the intention to change the things I consider worrisome and disturbing. Let them be what they are now; it may be the best way to go.
Jane Eyre is a great novel; indeed, it has let me once again pick up my interest in classic literature. After a failed attempt to finish reading Sense and Sensibility last year, I have developed a loath for classic novels. However, the free time and energy I had after OP enabled me to try to read Jane Eyre, one of the most perfectly structured novels in the history of English literature. The story was great; I fell in love with the main character--Jane, just after reading the first few chapters, and this affection lasted until the end. Jane was a independent woman with a respectable soul. Her difficulties in her early life shaped her resilient character and instilled in her an infallible faith in life and love. She was also a lucky women, for she had met so many people--Helen, Rochester, Adele, Diana, Mary--who truly loved her and helped her through her obstacles in life. This book certainly worths more than one time of reading.
Today is one of my last days of stay in my current room in RIB. Next year I will move to another room. I hate farewell, whether with people I like or dislike. I hate the feeling of saying goodbye. In this case, this feeling of hatred is even more pronounced as I will have to part with the people that I hold dearest throughout the year. I should not have a pessimistic view on my leaving, for I can still come down and chat with my friends; however, the feeling will never be the same, as we will not be roommates or "corridor-mates" any more. Maybe the midnight chats will be history, but I won't allow myself to sink to endless distress, as I know that people have to move on some time. We will still say goodbye to each other after next year, and I'm sure it will be harder for us to part then. I just need some time to get used to the new environment.
The year of J1 was more like a talk show than a drama to me, for nothing quite unexpected happened during the year; instead, I feel the year was more about meeting new people, encountering new problems and seeking new ways of life. Without having had great expectations, I must say that I had quite a pleasant year. Pleasant indeed, but it does not mean I have no regrets. Had my self-discovery come a little earlier, I would have figured out a more congenial way of dealing with several circumstances, and not let my spur of the moment or wrong judgement deceive myself. There is a fresh year ahead, but I will not have the energy or the intention to change the things I consider worrisome and disturbing. Let them be what they are now; it may be the best way to go.
Jane Eyre is a great novel; indeed, it has let me once again pick up my interest in classic literature. After a failed attempt to finish reading Sense and Sensibility last year, I have developed a loath for classic novels. However, the free time and energy I had after OP enabled me to try to read Jane Eyre, one of the most perfectly structured novels in the history of English literature. The story was great; I fell in love with the main character--Jane, just after reading the first few chapters, and this affection lasted until the end. Jane was a independent woman with a respectable soul. Her difficulties in her early life shaped her resilient character and instilled in her an infallible faith in life and love. She was also a lucky women, for she had met so many people--Helen, Rochester, Adele, Diana, Mary--who truly loved her and helped her through her obstacles in life. This book certainly worths more than one time of reading.
Today is one of my last days of stay in my current room in RIB. Next year I will move to another room. I hate farewell, whether with people I like or dislike. I hate the feeling of saying goodbye. In this case, this feeling of hatred is even more pronounced as I will have to part with the people that I hold dearest throughout the year. I should not have a pessimistic view on my leaving, for I can still come down and chat with my friends; however, the feeling will never be the same, as we will not be roommates or "corridor-mates" any more. Maybe the midnight chats will be history, but I won't allow myself to sink to endless distress, as I know that people have to move on some time. We will still say goodbye to each other after next year, and I'm sure it will be harder for us to part then. I just need some time to get used to the new environment.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Distasteful Advertisement
Today I found this very interesting page in the Life! section of The Straits Times:
At first I was stunned when I saw the "Department for Appropriate Behaviour". I wondered why I had never heard about such a department before since I've been in Singapore for three years. It would be very absurd for the government censorship body to let the TV programme be aired but at the same time ask that "Department" to advise the public not to watch it.
When I searched on Google for "Department for Appropriate Behaviour", I was amused as I noticed a lot of people sharing the same doubt with me on the various online forums. They had never heard such a department, either. Then, somebody suggested that this page could be a form of marketing as it provided too much details on the time and date of the preview and sounded more like an advertisement than a public notice. It even bolded the website of the programme! He also noticed the word "advertisement" at the right hand corner of the page, further proving that it was just a form of ad posted by StarHub. Well, smart and innovative it may appear to be, I think this ad is very, very distasteful.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
One Month
One month has passed.
Things did not turn out as what I expected. Though we did not get to talk much, neither did we roll our eyes when we saw each other.
I don't regret for what I have done in the past. What went right, what went wrong? Who knows? And what's the use of considering all these? I tried to make a conjecture about your actions, however, there was no way for me to prove it (using Mathematical Induction, maybe).
"Move on". That seems to be an easy way out, but it's always easier to say than to do. Sometimes my logic mind tells me I should look at the bigger picture, however, at the end of the day, we are still all emotional animals.
"People walk in and out of your life, only friends leave footprints in your heart." What a succint description about friendship! I don't know why MOE puts this sentence on the orientation tee for scholars every year but I know what it says is true. Perhaps one day we would still drift apart even without new buddies. Nontheless, I would still have your footprints to remind me of the days we spent together.
Things did not turn out as what I expected. Though we did not get to talk much, neither did we roll our eyes when we saw each other.
I don't regret for what I have done in the past. What went right, what went wrong? Who knows? And what's the use of considering all these? I tried to make a conjecture about your actions, however, there was no way for me to prove it (using Mathematical Induction, maybe).
"Move on". That seems to be an easy way out, but it's always easier to say than to do. Sometimes my logic mind tells me I should look at the bigger picture, however, at the end of the day, we are still all emotional animals.
"People walk in and out of your life, only friends leave footprints in your heart." What a succint description about friendship! I don't know why MOE puts this sentence on the orientation tee for scholars every year but I know what it says is true. Perhaps one day we would still drift apart even without new buddies. Nontheless, I would still have your footprints to remind me of the days we spent together.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Class Reunion
Haha, today's Teachers' Day reunion with CH teachers turned out to be a class gathering for students of 4-6, batch of '07. So happy to see everybody! I think the last time our class met was on the result release day. I was so excited to see my long lost friends!
RJ ended its celebration quite late, at around 11. Haha but we could afford to end late because our JC was nearest to CH among all JCs and essentially the travelling time was negligible. CH's celebration ended even later, at about 12. Some of us had lunch at the CH canteen and I got to try the cheap but delicious food at the cai fan stall. The HC gang arrived later and I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Jeen. He had become SO THIN! SO SKINNY! OMG! And he had waxed his hair some more. Haha he had become such a cool guy. I wondered whether he lost weight because of stress or just purposely losing weight for some cause. Damn, now I regret for forgetting to take a photo with him. Otherwise I could have compared his face before and now.
We had a warm reunion session with some of the teachers, talking about the life now and then. Most of my friends had not changed a lot in terms of appearance but apparently some of them were no longer single. There were a lot of gossiping sessions going on. One of my teacher seemed quite worried about my height. Sigh, even the ones shorter than me last year are taller than me now. However, as I had said long ago, it's impossible to change my genes. Anyway, I'm still growing (at least I think so).
Haha my crapping session with Jeen was back! So glad that we still had so many things to talk about after such a long time. How I miss those good old days when we had endless topics to share our views!
I have another more important blog to update. Will work on that one during the weekend.
RJ ended its celebration quite late, at around 11. Haha but we could afford to end late because our JC was nearest to CH among all JCs and essentially the travelling time was negligible. CH's celebration ended even later, at about 12. Some of us had lunch at the CH canteen and I got to try the cheap but delicious food at the cai fan stall. The HC gang arrived later and I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Jeen. He had become SO THIN! SO SKINNY! OMG! And he had waxed his hair some more. Haha he had become such a cool guy. I wondered whether he lost weight because of stress or just purposely losing weight for some cause. Damn, now I regret for forgetting to take a photo with him. Otherwise I could have compared his face before and now.
We had a warm reunion session with some of the teachers, talking about the life now and then. Most of my friends had not changed a lot in terms of appearance but apparently some of them were no longer single. There were a lot of gossiping sessions going on. One of my teacher seemed quite worried about my height. Sigh, even the ones shorter than me last year are taller than me now. However, as I had said long ago, it's impossible to change my genes. Anyway, I'm still growing (at least I think so).
Haha my crapping session with Jeen was back! So glad that we still had so many things to talk about after such a long time. How I miss those good old days when we had endless topics to share our views!
I have another more important blog to update. Will work on that one during the weekend.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Mental Disturbance
I woke up at 7+ in the morning, fully awake. The whole world was sleeping. I knew I could not get any more sleep. I couldn't stop thinking of us and I nearly wanted to bang my head on the wall.
Today is the first time I eat breakfast in the Dining Hall on Saturday. Alone. I ate almost nothing except the cereal. I thought I would become anorexic if my state of mind continued like that.
Anorexia is good.
I didn't feel like doing anything in the room after breakfast. I packed and went to school although the meeting was still half an hour away. My mental disturbance did not give way although I did try hard.
When I saw your cold face, I knew everything was over.
I'm relieved that I have changed a lot. I would hate you if I was the Me before. However, now I know how to think like a normal person. You did nothing wrong, nor did I. Life just played a meaningless joke on me.
At least we can still say hello, smile when we meet and talk cock if you want.
I know I will have no mood for work during this weekend. I know I'll screw up next week's tests.
Well, actually, I don't care and I don't give a ****.
Because the part of my brain responsible for logical thinking has been shut down temporarily. I need time to fix it.
Life is and will be like that, at least for me. 'Cos I'm different.
Today is the first time I eat breakfast in the Dining Hall on Saturday. Alone. I ate almost nothing except the cereal. I thought I would become anorexic if my state of mind continued like that.
Anorexia is good.
I didn't feel like doing anything in the room after breakfast. I packed and went to school although the meeting was still half an hour away. My mental disturbance did not give way although I did try hard.
When I saw your cold face, I knew everything was over.
I'm relieved that I have changed a lot. I would hate you if I was the Me before. However, now I know how to think like a normal person. You did nothing wrong, nor did I. Life just played a meaningless joke on me.
At least we can still say hello, smile when we meet and talk cock if you want.
I know I will have no mood for work during this weekend. I know I'll screw up next week's tests.
Well, actually, I don't care and I don't give a ****.
Because the part of my brain responsible for logical thinking has been shut down temporarily. I need time to fix it.
Life is and will be like that, at least for me. 'Cos I'm different.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Resolution
No quarrel; no struggle; no bleeding.
Maybe in the end we are not meant to be together. Maybe this is the best outcome for the both of us.
It has been very hurtful and difficult to get you out of my head, however, it's a relief to me that I finally manage to get over you.
I'm glad that I did not put any foolish hope on us this time. You will never understand my mind.
I think this is the best way to resolve, although it is not a happy one. I'm tired of endless guessing-games and jealousy.
I hope you can be happy in your life without me. For me, I will remain who I am, with or without you.
Maybe in the end we are not meant to be together. Maybe this is the best outcome for the both of us.
It has been very hurtful and difficult to get you out of my head, however, it's a relief to me that I finally manage to get over you.
I'm glad that I did not put any foolish hope on us this time. You will never understand my mind.
I think this is the best way to resolve, although it is not a happy one. I'm tired of endless guessing-games and jealousy.
I hope you can be happy in your life without me. For me, I will remain who I am, with or without you.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Some Photos
Group photo at Changi Airport before departure.
LCD screen showed that we were about to land at London.
It was 4pm + when we landed at Heathrow Airport. Look at my watch--it showed the S'pore time then.
Photo taken at Heathrow.
Our dinner menu at a cafe at Heathrow Airport.
TK's fish and chips. See how fat the chips are, haha.
All kinds of sauces.
My chicken pasta alfredo.
FZ's spicy beef pot. The white thing is not tofu. It's yogurt.
TH ordered the same thing as me. Notice the yellowish English mustard and the brownish French mustard. Let your imaginations fly...
The corridor in our residence hall.
My room. Double-sized bed.
Desk and chair.
Wardrobe and washing sink,
A building in University of Southampton.
The Hartley Library.
Outside Asda Supermart. We were aligning ourselves according to the wine bottles at the back.
Outside Asda. I was parking myself...
TK was teaching me the right way to park myself, haha...
Monday, July 21, 2008
Headache
I can hardly believe that I still have energy to write a post now. My day has been effectively lengthened by seven hours. It's 7am in RIB but 12am in Southampton now.
So many things have happened so fast in one day. Just a few hours ago I was still in Singapore, and now I'm sitting in the chair of my room in University of Southampton. Life is full of surprises.
When we just boarded the plane, I was a bit disappointed as the aircraft was Boeing 747 instead of Airbus 380, which was told to us by the teachers. However, in spite of the physical state of the aircraft, the journey was a very pleasant one. The service offered by SIA stewardess was certainly of high quality; the in-flight entertainment system offered various movies, music, TV shows, games and news; the food was not bad...
BUT
Yes, as expected, I had a headache (again!). It lasted for several hours and deterred me from enjoying deep sleep. Luckily I did prepare painkiller, although its effect only set in several hours after I took it.
12 hours of flight, just imagine that!
After I landed at Heathrow, I was thrilled to find that my phone could enjoy partial roaming service--I can send and receive messages! Thanks to LX for the tips :)
Heathrow was not quite like what I imagined. It could not match Changi in terms of space, efficiency, appearance and high-tech. Maybe it's because it has been built for quite a long time and received a lot more passengers every day compared to Changi.
We had dinner at the airport cafe. TK, TH, FZ, LX and I had a very hilarious dinner. After dinner, we jumped on our bus and headed to Soton. Finally we had the sight of typical English houses and narrow streets. We were quite surprised that the daytime in England is very long during this season. It was still very bright even at 9 in the evening but it's also rather cold. LX and I had to suffer the consequences of not bringing jackets with us in our handbags.
The big problem now: adapt to the new time zone.
Cannot keep my eyes open now. Pictures will be up tomorrow (hopefully)...
So many things have happened so fast in one day. Just a few hours ago I was still in Singapore, and now I'm sitting in the chair of my room in University of Southampton. Life is full of surprises.
When we just boarded the plane, I was a bit disappointed as the aircraft was Boeing 747 instead of Airbus 380, which was told to us by the teachers. However, in spite of the physical state of the aircraft, the journey was a very pleasant one. The service offered by SIA stewardess was certainly of high quality; the in-flight entertainment system offered various movies, music, TV shows, games and news; the food was not bad...
BUT
Yes, as expected, I had a headache (again!). It lasted for several hours and deterred me from enjoying deep sleep. Luckily I did prepare painkiller, although its effect only set in several hours after I took it.
12 hours of flight, just imagine that!
After I landed at Heathrow, I was thrilled to find that my phone could enjoy partial roaming service--I can send and receive messages! Thanks to LX for the tips :)
Heathrow was not quite like what I imagined. It could not match Changi in terms of space, efficiency, appearance and high-tech. Maybe it's because it has been built for quite a long time and received a lot more passengers every day compared to Changi.
We had dinner at the airport cafe. TK, TH, FZ, LX and I had a very hilarious dinner. After dinner, we jumped on our bus and headed to Soton. Finally we had the sight of typical English houses and narrow streets. We were quite surprised that the daytime in England is very long during this season. It was still very bright even at 9 in the evening but it's also rather cold. LX and I had to suffer the consequences of not bringing jackets with us in our handbags.
The big problem now: adapt to the new time zone.
Cannot keep my eyes open now. Pictures will be up tomorrow (hopefully)...
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Go Go China!
I believe almost everyone should have known how serious and terrible the situation in China is now. If you are still unaware, go to any search engine and type "Sichuan Earthquake" and you will see many photos or videos that will make your tears flow. It has been the most severe natural disaster happened to China since I was born.
Needless to say, it is time for everyone, be it Chinese or non-Chinese, to lend his or her help. Various fund-raising activities have already taken place in many schools. I appreciate those who have organised the donation drives based on altruistic purposes. I was touched by some of my seniors who stayed up until midnight to work on proposals or tally the proceeds in the past few days. They have really helped a lot.
To all the people who have read this post, I want to say, quoting my senior, "Just Donate". It does not matter how much you donate. Even if you do not donate, I will appreciate if you can say a prayer or a good wish in your heart for the victims. Your help will go a long way in helping the disaster relief work as well as reconstruction.
Thanks a lot everyone for helping out.
Needless to say, it is time for everyone, be it Chinese or non-Chinese, to lend his or her help. Various fund-raising activities have already taken place in many schools. I appreciate those who have organised the donation drives based on altruistic purposes. I was touched by some of my seniors who stayed up until midnight to work on proposals or tally the proceeds in the past few days. They have really helped a lot.
To all the people who have read this post, I want to say, quoting my senior, "Just Donate". It does not matter how much you donate. Even if you do not donate, I will appreciate if you can say a prayer or a good wish in your heart for the victims. Your help will go a long way in helping the disaster relief work as well as reconstruction.
Thanks a lot everyone for helping out.
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Intelligent Design
The words "intelligent design" would not make any sense to me before I watched the documentary Unlocking the Mystery of Life tonight. The documentary was screened in the dining hall of my boarding school. It discussed the origin of life and organisms on earth by introducing the research findings of several famous American biologists. The documentary gave me a new perspective in examining the origin of life. Basically, it denied Charles Darwin's theory of Natural Selection and introduced an alternative theory for explaining the origin of life.
The following texts are my understandings of the documentary:
At the start of the documentary, the biologists questioned the Natural Selection by citing the example of bacterial flagella: if the flagellum was the result of Natural Selection, it would not make sense because it could not originate from nowhere. The flagellum is such a sophisticated structure that it could not possibly assemble itself from simple molecules. If it existed long before it began to function, it would be eliminated as it had no use in bacterial bodies, according to the theory of Natural Selection.
Then the biologists moved on to discuss the fundamental unit of all living organisms: proteins. Proteins are highly specific structures made up of amino acids. If people argue that the proteins are folded in such ways by random forces of nature, it will not explain the complexity of life. The most important question about proteins is that how they folded in the specific ways in the first generation of organisms, or putting it in the simple way: how the proteins in the earliest, simplest organisms originated?
So the professors introduced the concept of DNA. That was the one of the most amazing parts of the documentary as it showed the whole processes of replication, transcription and translation by using 3D computer animation. The proteins are synthesised according to the information coded in the DNA.
Now the question comes: how was the information coded in the DNA?
That question was answered by the theory of Intelligent Design. The biologists argued that the information was not coded by nature or by chance. It was a result of intelligence. For example, the various shapes of mountains are the result of natural forces such as wind or rain or whatever (please, I don't take geography!); however, when you see Mount Rushmore in the USA, instinctively you will say it is the work of human intelligence. Why? Because it is virtually impossible for nature to sculpture four heads of the four famous American presidents. Same thing applies to DNA. According to the biologists in the documentary, DNA code was designed, not evolved.
Intelligent Design, by definition from its official website, is "the theory that holds that certain features of the universe and of living things are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as Natural Selection".
However, I'm not yet totally convinced by Intelligent Design theory as the cause or force that designed the lives on earth is still unknown. After searching the Internet, I found out that the unequivocal consesus in the scientific community is that Intelligent Design is not science but pseudoscience. It is also a modern form of the traditional teleological argument for the existence of God.
Nevertheless, I feel that the documentary is a very enlightening film and undoubtedly worths watching, especially to biology enthusiasts. It certainly provides an alternative path to look at the various forms of life.
To find out more, please visit http://www.intelligentdesign.org/index.php
The following texts are my understandings of the documentary:
At the start of the documentary, the biologists questioned the Natural Selection by citing the example of bacterial flagella: if the flagellum was the result of Natural Selection, it would not make sense because it could not originate from nowhere. The flagellum is such a sophisticated structure that it could not possibly assemble itself from simple molecules. If it existed long before it began to function, it would be eliminated as it had no use in bacterial bodies, according to the theory of Natural Selection.
Then the biologists moved on to discuss the fundamental unit of all living organisms: proteins. Proteins are highly specific structures made up of amino acids. If people argue that the proteins are folded in such ways by random forces of nature, it will not explain the complexity of life. The most important question about proteins is that how they folded in the specific ways in the first generation of organisms, or putting it in the simple way: how the proteins in the earliest, simplest organisms originated?
So the professors introduced the concept of DNA. That was the one of the most amazing parts of the documentary as it showed the whole processes of replication, transcription and translation by using 3D computer animation. The proteins are synthesised according to the information coded in the DNA.
Now the question comes: how was the information coded in the DNA?
That question was answered by the theory of Intelligent Design. The biologists argued that the information was not coded by nature or by chance. It was a result of intelligence. For example, the various shapes of mountains are the result of natural forces such as wind or rain or whatever (please, I don't take geography!); however, when you see Mount Rushmore in the USA, instinctively you will say it is the work of human intelligence. Why? Because it is virtually impossible for nature to sculpture four heads of the four famous American presidents. Same thing applies to DNA. According to the biologists in the documentary, DNA code was designed, not evolved.
Intelligent Design, by definition from its official website, is "the theory that holds that certain features of the universe and of living things are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as Natural Selection".
However, I'm not yet totally convinced by Intelligent Design theory as the cause or force that designed the lives on earth is still unknown. After searching the Internet, I found out that the unequivocal consesus in the scientific community is that Intelligent Design is not science but pseudoscience. It is also a modern form of the traditional teleological argument for the existence of God.
Nevertheless, I feel that the documentary is a very enlightening film and undoubtedly worths watching, especially to biology enthusiasts. It certainly provides an alternative path to look at the various forms of life.
To find out more, please visit http://www.intelligentdesign.org/index.php
Friday, April 18, 2008
The Hard Way
Yesterday I learnt the rule in the hard way...
Yes, rules are not supposed to be flouted, at least here. Even though you are a person who never dares to cross the line (like oat), you will get yourself into trouble if you become a rule breaker for even once. I know I have no excuses for yesterday's shitty incidence. Better be careful next time, especially when I'm still a newbie here. This is a place where pardon is rarely given...
Yes, rules are not supposed to be flouted, at least here. Even though you are a person who never dares to cross the line (like oat), you will get yourself into trouble if you become a rule breaker for even once. I know I have no excuses for yesterday's shitty incidence. Better be careful next time, especially when I'm still a newbie here. This is a place where pardon is rarely given...
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